i don't know if i have much to say.

I waver between understanding and hopelessness. Some days, my spirit is settled into my body and I am settled into my life and everything is expectantly, frighteningly in place. Other days, I look at branches hanging over ravines and want to grab onto them and swing across, knowing they'd break on me. Those days, the loneliness is overwhelming and I am just tired. Weary. Life is overwhelming. I know, from talking to people, that I am not alone. My good friend and I joked about it the other day--how she wants to crawl out of her window on the 20th floor, what she would do, how everyone would understand. Women that I never thought would feel this way are feeling this way. Not that, in reality, we would act on it. I wouldn't, I hope. Just that there's a weariness in our bones.

It feels odd to write this today, when I feel far removed from my desperation. Today I feel like life is just moving, that I'm putting one foot in front of the other.

Beebs, how are you??