bleeding out, day 2

the saga continues.

Today is overload. Too much blood, too much of a heavy head, too much nausea. I believe the body reacts to the spirit. I believe that when we go through things, they are reflected in the body. And I'm trying to figure out what, exactly, my body is reacting to. I know I made a commitment--to my purpose, to my body, to God--and maybe that's just it. I feel like my body is sloughing off all of the sickness and trauma of the past 3 years. Enough to make me want to curl into the fetal position, just because of the weight. I know that I've let go of a lot, too. Of the brokenness caused by a relationship gone very, very wrong; of my indignant attitude towards things that happened TO me, of the rape, of disappointment and disillusionment. I've let go of a lot, and decided not to be a child and to be an adult. Maybe this is my body's way of growing up. But, man, it hurts. Even my legs are sore. I just gotta go through it, and be present in my body.