spiritual warfare?

there is something in my room. A while ago, I had the feeling that this room, this house, was impenetrable by negative forces. Once I left the house, I was fair game, but inside the house I was protected. That night, the night I prayed, I slept and had the most wonderful Spirit-led dreams. At 4:21 a.m. I woke up terrified. Childishly, irrationally terrified. I just knew there was something in the room, next to my bed. I finally got back to sleep, and again I had wonderful dreams. But as I was drifting off/waking up (I can't remember which), I asked God why he let the dark thing come into my room, and I think they responded that it was to remind me.

I think it was to remind me that, without the dark, I cease to be a productive human and a growing Christian. I get complacent. I don't follow my dreams or desires. (I dreamt I was writing! I haven't written in ages, and I was writing and felt whole in only the way I do after creating something.) I can't drown in the darkness, but it has to be there to give me leverage so that I can swim.

Spiritual warfare on this island is intense. I think for a while God let me get battered, to teach me to trust myself and trust my relationship with them. Spiritual warfare in Africa is probably going to be more intense, so I'm viewing this as preparation. I'm not sure if I'm doing a good job.

And, I have to add, that this is one reason why I have been shying away from prayer. Prayer is powerful. Things happen when you pray. That used to excite me but now it just makes me tired. God wants me to be ever changing and growing, and they're trying to prepare me for this future that I (in my ignorance...er, idealism) asked them for, and I just want to avoid it and go to sleep. Is this wrong? It feels really wrong. Funny, but wrong.